The Dove and the Rock

continued

She still hadn’t found a permanent nesting place here.  At night she tucked herself into makeshift cover under a tree root or next to a bush and wearily tried to rest as her mind tussled with the same questions over and over.  During the day, she felt completely lost and found herself wandering aimlessly, getting by on small bits of food.  Survival in this land took most of her energy and courage, and she felt achingly alone.  She seemed to be losing her sense of who she was and how she was supposed to live.  

As Dove awoke this particular morning, she stood, dusted herself off, and prepared to fly away from her perch on the top of the Rock. Spreading her wings, she launched herself off the Rock.  Just as she began to gain altitude, she was pulled out of the air without warning and fell to the ground!  

Shocked and bruised, Dove looked around to see if anyone had witnessed her clumsiness, but as usual, no one was there.  She picked herself up, resettled her feathers, and launched off from the ground.  Rising a short distance into the air, she was jerked back mid-flight and came crashing down to earth!  Again and again, Dove attempted to fly, feeling more and more frantic with each effort.  Every time she was halted in mid-air after gaining several feet.

Puzzled, she sat down hard on the ground and finally saw what in her panicked state she had overlooked.  A small leather strap was wrapped firmly around her leg just above her foot.  The strap was connected to a leather leash that ran back in the direction of the Rock.  She was tethered!  

Jumping to her feet with renewed energy, she redirected all her efforts toward breaking free of the tether.  She tried to chew through it, peck at it, twist it, tear it.  No matter what she did, the tether held as fast to her leg as an iron shackle.  Then she attacked the leash which was thinner than the band of leather on her leg.  She pulled and pulled on the leash without success.  She struggled furiously against her bonds, but she was not strong enough.  Despite all her efforts, the leather pieces held securely.  Dove was well and truly caught.

Unnerved, perplexed, and exhausted, she lowered her head in defeat.  Completely overwhelmed by her situation, she lay down right where she was in a little heap of dusty feathers.  She stayed there, motionless, staring off into space until despair opened the door to curiosity.  She decided she needed to find what was at the other end of the leash.  Maybe she could break the leash free from the other end.

Focused on a new mission, she rose and followed the ribbon of leather back toward the base of the Tall Trees and the large Rock that sat beneath them.  The leash led her around to the far side of the Rock and seemed to end half-way up the rock face.  Summoning what was left of her strength and willing her aching muscles into flight, Dove made a flying leap onto the Rock to have a better look.  She was surprised to discover the leash disappeared into the Rock.  Beneath her feet, unnoticeable from the ground below, was a narrow cleft in the Rock, and the leash was connected somewhere deep inside.

Dove spoke courage to her faint heart and nervously began to make her way into the extremely narrow passage. Her small frame just barely fit between the two walls, and she had to move ever so carefully as she descended.  She followed the strip of leather more by feel than by sight as the shadows embraced her.  After a little while, she sensed the crevice widening. No longer were her shoulders brushing against the walls, and she could stand up to her full height. 

She continued to make her way forward with every one of her senses on high alert, trying to anticipate any danger that might be waiting for her.  She tracked the length of the leash just a few more steps when suddenly she bumped into a wall.  She had come the full length of the crevice only to find the end of the leash was swallowed up by the wall of rock.  There was no clasp or anchor at this end.  It seemed as if the Rock had tethered Dove to itself, deep within its heart.

This was completely unexpected.  She had no idea what to do next.  There was no way to break free from the tether at either end.  Confounded, Dove just stood in that spot, facing the wall, for several minutes.  Then, realizing her journey into the depths of the Rock had accomplished nothing, she turned to leave.

By now, her eyes had adjusted to the dimness.  She could see with the help of the faint light that filtered down from the cleft opening.  She paused briefly to examine her surroundings and found she was in a tiny cave contained in the heart of the Rock.  A quick look around assured her that she was alone, and she let out a sigh of relief.  Relaxing slightly, Dove turned her head slowly this way and that, sizing up this secret chamber.  Although the room was by no means large, it did have enough space for her to stand and move about a bit.  The walls were smooth and rounded, curving gently about her.  The ceiling arched overhead like a dome.  Dove was surprised that she fit quite comfortably in this little cavern. 

Taking another step toward the passageway, she became aware of the floor beneath her feet. It was so soft! The cavern floor was covered in a thick cushion of moss. It was the same type of moss Dove used to line her nest on occasion.  In her fragile state, the feel of the moss under her feet triggered something in her heart.  A deep longing for home rose up within her.  Dove let out a little cry and then dissolved into a heap of uncontrollable sobs.

The tears were for her sorry state.  They were for her capture and her unknown fate.  But they were also sobs for the life she lived in this strange land.  Dove cried for her loneliness, her confusion, and her struggles.  She wept for the life she had once known, a life she had understood and enjoyed.  Her disappointments, fears, failures, and questions came spilling out of her heart in a chaos of emotion.  Bent over in a shuddering ball, Dove sobbed and sobbed until she was completely spent and had cried herself to sleep.

She awoke some time later with sharp hunger pangs.  She had not eaten all day and felt weak from her battles.  Noticing how far the shadows on the cavern wall had shifted and that the light from above was waning, she judged it must be well into the afternoon.  She needed to find food quickly before the day was over. 

Moving toward the mouth of the cave, her foot stepped down on something squishy and wet.  Surprised, Dove reached down with her beak to investigate and found the mushy remains of a berry.  Cautiously, she stretched out the tip of her tongue to taste it and discovered it was the same as those that grew on a bush near the field.  Immediately, her mouth began to water, and she quickly licked up the crushed berry at her feet.  The flavor delighted her tongue, and her hungry stomach groaned in appreciation.  Tears came to Dove’s eyes at the goodness of it, the only good thing in the midst of an awful day. 

Searching the ground around her for more, she found a small pile of berries next to the opening of the cave.  Without further thought, she hurriedly downed each one, hardly stopping to take a breath in between.  When she had finished the last berry, she lifted her head with deep satisfaction.  Her stomach was full, and she could feel her strength returning.  Thankful though she was, Dove considered it very strange to find berries in the cleft of the Rock.  The Rock couldn’t make berries, she knew, but there they had been.  She pondered her unusual meal as she snaked her way upward toward the fading light. 

Tentatively, Dove peeked out from the cleft, just daring to raise her head above the opening. She looked from side to side to inspect her surroundings for any danger before coming fully out of cover.  For several moments, she kept watch for movement in the deep shadows beneath the Tall Trees.  From the height of the Rock, her sharp eyes spotted a field mouse scurrying from behind the trunk of one tree to the shelter of the next. A small swarm of midges swirled in the air above her head. Besides these small disturbances, all was still.

She cast her gaze further and carefully peered past the canopy of the Tall Trees, looking for predators hiding in the grassy field beyond. She saw the grass dancing in the breeze, and the berry bush rustling as Wind moved through it. At the same moment, she felt Wind blow across her face, and she had a revelation. 

Perhaps Wind had blown the berries into the cleft of the Rock!  It seemed so unnatural to find berries in that hidden place, but it was possible that Wind had brought them there.  Of course, Wind had a mind of its own, and it blew where it willed.  But why would it blow berries into a rock?

Like kernels of popcorn, dozens of questions popped into Dove’s mind and bounced off one another.  She struggled to comprehend all that had happened that day.  But now, dusk was quickly approaching, and she knew that nesting time was upon her.  For the second time today, she ached for the loss of her home in the land far away.  Gently fluttering down from her perch on the Rock, she began to inspect the options in her now limited range. 

Fleetingly, she thought of the soft moss and strong walls of the Rock’s cleft, but she shook the idea out of her head.  She couldn’t think of nesting there in the heart of her captor.  Finally, she settled for a spot among the tangled roots of one of the Tall Trees.  Although she was fairly well hidden, it was a chilly nesting place.  The ground had separated from the roots over time, creating gaps that let Wind blow through.  Even though she was exhausted, she slept restlessly, often waking to fluff her feathers for warmth.  She was relieved, although still weary, when daylight began to show above the horizon.

Despondently, Dove rose from her nesting spot among the roots and shook loose the dust that had settled in her feathers overnight.  She looked down at her leg to verify the tether was still there, which it was.  Half-heartedly, she tugged at it, but the leather bonds held fast just as the day before, and she quickly lost interest.  Although she didn’t have much enthusiasm, she decided her energy would be better spent finding breakfast.

Sluggishly, she moved out from the shadows into the soft morning light.  The air was still cool, but she felt her body warming as she walked around.  Here and there she thrust her beak into the dirt, hoping to uncover a bug or two.  Without warning, Wind rose up in front of her and was so strong that Dove was pushed back.  Surprised, she lowered her head, pressing into Wind and trying to hold her ground.  Wind blew even stronger, deterring her from her breakfast mission.  She turned her back to its strength as it shuffled her against her will along the ground toward the Rock.  Glancing back over her shoulder, Dove’s keen eye suddenly caught a slight movement in the grass just beyond the Tall Trees.  A fox was making its way stealthily toward the berry bush.Dove was not sure if she had been spotted by the fox, but she wouldn’t waste time finding out. Her tether would be a fatal liability if the fox caught her. Wind kept pushing her toward the Rock, and as she quickly considered her options, Dove realized the cleft of the Rock was the safest place for her right now.  As she made the short flight up to its surface, her movement attracted the fox’s attention.  Letting out an excited yip, the fox leapt from its cover in the grass and raced toward her.  Startled by the fox’s oncoming attack and clumsy with the tether, Dove’s balance was thrown off.  She missed the cleft and tumbled roughly onto the top of the Rock.  

The fox was steadily gaining ground when Wind literally scooped Dove up and dropped her into the cleft of the Rock.  Fumbling her way through the narrow opening much less cautiously than the day before, she fell out of the passage and onto the moss-covered floor with breathless relief.  She knew the fox would never be able to reach her here.  She found refuge in the heart of the Rock.

Taking time to catch her breath, Dove once again surveyed the cavern as her eyes adjusted to its dim light.  Although she was safe from the fox, she would not let down her guard until she was sure she was alone.  Looking around, she found the cavern exactly as it had been yesterday – warm, cozy, and empty.  Also, just as there had been the day before, a pile of berries lay next to the cave opening.  Again she was surprised by this repeated miracle.  However, she was hungry, and there was no use arguing with a ready meal.  She ate up the berries, one by one, grateful for such a delicious treasure.

Feeling more comfortable on this second visit, Dove took more time to look around. She took stock of the strong walls, measuring their height with her eyes. She closely inspected the carpet of moss that completely covered the floor and part of the wall as well. She poked her beak into every crevice and corner until she had carefully examined the entirety of the small cave.

By this time, Dove had been hidden away for most of the morning. She was sure the fox was gone, realizing its meal had made a clean getaway.  Believing it was safe to come out, Dove inched her way back along the passage.  The bright sunshine hurt her eyes as she emerged from the Rock’s deep core, and she remained hidden at the cleft’s opening for a minute, allowing them time to adjust.  She diligently scanned the area twice, and then a third time, for any sign of her predator or other dangers. Finally, when she was sure the coast was clear, a long sigh escaped from her beak, and she climbed out of her hiding place.

Once back on the ground, Dove decided to investigate the full scope of her captivity. This was the second day that she was a prisoner of the Rock.  She still had no idea why it was holding her, and, as far as she could determine, she had no means of escape. She needed to know what she was up against to make a survival plan. 

She walked out the full length of her tether which took her to within a few feet of the edge of the tree canopy.  She could walk back toward the base of the Tall Trees and past the large Rock that sat there, but again at the other side, she could not go past the edge of the canopy.  She knew she could alight upon the Rock itself but couldn’t fly much higher.  Besides the presence of these landmarks – the Rock and the Tall Trees – her range was barren.  The ground was hard and dusty from the dry conditions and only a few sparse weeds grew under the tree shadows.  She took note of these, knowing she could nibble on them if she were truly starving.  There was no other food to be seen.

Dove recognized that her situation was desperate.  She had an extremely limited range of movement with a few vulnerable nesting sites and almost no food options.  She already knew how limited food was in this dry land, and she had learned to survive mainly by foraging in the grasses of the nearby field.  Now, the field was beyond her reach.  She didn’t know how she could take care of herself under these conditions.

She made her way back to the base of the Tall Trees and sat down next to a large root. The heat of the day was oppressive, but it was slightly cooler in the deeper shadows. She weighed up her resources.  Her most basic needs were food and safety.  Thinking through her options, she was forced to admit the Rock was her best alternative for both.

How she despised that Rock! She hated its unbreakable hold on her! She didn’t want to give it the satisfaction of being her only hope! How could she bring herself to depend upon her captor? Yet without its help, she knew she may not survive.

For the remainder of the day, Dove pouted in the shade of Tall Trees.  Fairly certain dinner would be waiting for her, she grudgingly stole into the cleft of the Rock just before dusk and filled her stomach with another cache of berries.  Then she disdainfully left the cozy hollow and returned to the cool night air, nesting on top of the Rock in protest.

Sometime after midnight Wind began to rush through the Tall Trees with great force, and the temperature dropped quickly.  Dove fussed in her sleep, pulling her wings in tight and trying to burrow her head further into her chest feathers.  Suddenly she was fully awake as large drops of rain began pelting her back.  Wind stirred her feathers so that the rain soaked through to her body.  Trembling violently as the unexpected storm raged around her, she needed immediate shelter.  More by instinct than logic, she scampered into the cleft of the Rock and followed the now familiar channel into its protective depths.Shivering with cold, she cozied up in the mossy cave.  Her little heart beat rapidly from the shock of the storm and took several minutes to calm down to a regular rhythm. Slowly, she relaxed as her body warmth filled the small cavern.  Then she drifted into a deep and peaceful sleep with the lullaby of rain off in the distance.

Morning dawned with a gradual brightening of the cave. Dove woke up feeling strangely refreshed. She stood, stretched her neck and back, and shook out her wings. What a wonderful, comfortable sleep she had! It was the best sleep she could remember in a very long time.

Looking around the cave, she spotted a small pool of rainwater that had collected near the end of the passageway.  A shallow dip in the rock surface had caught the rainwater, keeping it away from the cozy cavern and holding it like a little bowl that she could drink from.  Next to the entrance was a fresh pile of rain-washed berries.  

While leisurely enjoying her breakfast, she could hear the rain falling heavily outside.  She counted the rain as a blessing in this dry and dusty land, but she had no desire to leave the cave. Everything she needed was right here.  It was warm and dry, and she was safe and well-fed.  She settled down and rested in the heart of the Rock through the entire day, feeling such unusual peace and comfort.

After three days, the rains abated, and Dove ventured outside again.  The world was fresh with the earthy smell that comes after a prolonged soaking.  The grasses were greener, and lingering raindrops rested on leaves and branches, sparkling in the sun.  For the first time in a very long while, Dove’s heart felt a hint of joy.

She spent the day discovering the after-effects of the rain.  Several pools of water could be found under the Tall Trees, and the ground was littered with berries, leaves, and grass seeds from the nearby field.  Dove was happy for a change of diet, eating some grass and a delicious earthworm who had been lured to the surface by the moist soil.  She enjoyed foraging again for her meal, but when dusk began to close in, she headed toward the cleft of the Rock.  She had come to accept that the Rock was a good nesting place.  It was private and protective, as well as warm and cozy.  It seemed, quite miraculously, that there was always food there, too.  As much as she hated to admit it, the Rock truly was a good home.

And so began a new normal for Dove.  Although she checked her tether every morning when she awoke, she came to a relative peace with her captivity.  She created a lovely nest in the cleft of the Rock, adding pine needles and grass to the lining of moss.  In truth, she was grateful to no longer be a homeless wanderer.  Although her world had narrowed significantly, there was a simplicity and ease she had never known before. Without the stress of fighting for survival, she was free to find joy in little things: the early morning sunlight that streamed in under the tree canopy, catching a snail or worm for an extra treat, listening to Wind rustling through the Tall Trees as she fell asleep at night. Dove had never lived this way before, enjoying such blessings without having to labor for them.

One morning Dove was awakened by the sound of a song as Wind whistled by outside. Her heart was stirred to respond, and for the first time in this strange land, she opened her beak and sang a joyful tune.  The sound of her singing echoed off the walls of the cavern and escaped out the opening.  In the distance, Wind answered back in harmony with her sweet birdsong. For a moment, they sang together: the Wind and the Dove, melody and harmony intertwining, falling and lifting through the Tall Trees.  Dove’s heart expanded in her chest, soaring with delight.  She was happy with her life.  She no longer saw the Rock as her prison, but rather her blessing, a strong fortress of protection and provision.  What a joyful mystery!

Summer turned to fall, and the berries that magically appeared as her daily portion were replaced by seeds, no less miraculous.  When fall gave way to winter, Dove was even more thankful for her warm and cozy nest.  Then one unusually warm day in the early spring, while stalking a small beetle, Dove wandered past the edge of the tree canopy. The shadow of the Tall Trees gave way to the brightness of the sun.  She was almost to the field when she realized something wasn’t right.  She halted with the sensation of grass beneath her feet.  All these months, she had only walked upon the bare ground under the Tall Trees.

Confused, she turned back toward the Rock and discovered with amazement that the leash was no longer attached to her foot! In fact, the tether was missing too!  She hadn’t noticed this during her morning routine. 

When did she stop checking for her tether? When had she become so content with her captivity that she stopped fighting it? And now here she was – FREE! She could hardly believe it!  How could this be?!

Dove rushed toward the field with abandon, all thoughts of the hunted beetle vanished from her mind.  Dreams of this day had filled her nights.  Sometimes the dreams were so real that she cried out with shock when she woke up, wings twitching, only to find herself hemmed in by the dark crevice of the Rock.  But now, here she was in the bright light of day – untethered, released – and her joy was uncontainable!  She flapped about the field freely, throwing bewildered glances back over her shoulder toward the Rock.

As much as she had fantasized about this day, she didn’t know how to respond now that it was here.  Her legs quickly tired of all the scrambling around the field.  Unsure of herself, she started to return to what was most familiar – the shadow of the Tall Trees. However, Wind had another idea.  It blew up behind her, pushing her strongly and lifting her off her feet.  A long-forgotten sensation stirred within her – the desire to fly!  Instinct quickly took over, and she began to beat her wings.  Wind picked her up, and her wings propelled her forward, lifting her higher and higher.  Suddenly, the Tall Trees weren’t so tall anymore.  She circled their tops and surveyed the entire expanse of the field below.  She spotted the ribbon of river twisting away in the distance and headed in that direction, jubilant with her freedom.

Soaring over the nearby hills and valleys, Dove hungrily took in the scenery.  She was delighted to feel the air rush past her face, bringing little tears to her eyes. She had forgotten how incredible it was to soar high above the earth!  She flew with no particular mission.  She was just sight-seeing, allowing Wind to carry her, playing with her newfound freedom.  With Wind’s help, she flew higher and higher, following a path of intricate loops and figure eights.  It was a wild, haphazard celebration!  She had never enjoyed flying so much!

After a relatively short time, her wings began to ache.  Reluctantly, she scouted a place to land and chose a clearing next to the river, which ran swiftly with the melted snow coming down from the mountains.  Brushing herself off after a rather clumsy landing, Dove settled in the shadow of a clump of bulrushes. Peace enveloped her as she rested, watching glints of sunlight play upon the water as it flowed past.

She felt renewed.  The world had been restored to her.  She recognized all the common sights of nature: the river, trees, grass, sky, yet none of it seemed common.  Everything was fresh and new and alive.  Even the sight of a hawk circling high overhead did not frighten her or steal her joy.  She rested in the contentment that comes at the end of an exhausting journey, enjoying a deep sense of completion.  She had persevered through a difficult struggle and had come out the other side.  Yet there was more to it than that.  

In the midst of her captivity, Dove had found a new security and rest apart from herself.   She no longer had to be self-sufficient, depending only on herself.  She had learned what it was to be cared for, to rest, and to receive.  She wasn’t alone, left to fend for herself against the elements.  The Rock had become her security, her fortress, and her friend.  This realization surprised and pleased her at the same time: the Rock was her friend.  In its heart, she had found comfort, provision, and her home.

A long afternoon was spent next to the river.  Dove foraged for a midday meal among the rushes.  Not much food remained after the long winter, but she didn’t mind.  Nothing could dampen her mood.  As the day faded, and the air began to chill, she longed to be cozy and warm for the night.  She knew the perfect place to go to rest.  As she prepared herself to take off in the direction of the Rock, she felt Wind caress her face as if to say, “It’s time to go home,” and she knew she would find dinner waiting.  She would rest in peace in the heart of her Rock, confident she would be ready for the next adventure Wind brought her way.

“My dove in the clefts of the rock, in the hiding places on the mountainside, show me your face,

let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely.”   

Song of Songs 2:14

“The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, 

in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation.”

2 Samuel 22:2-3

The story behind the story goes back to our family’s move to California at the end of 2009.  This began a long wilderness season for me as I struggled to adjust to this “dry and weary land.”  About nine months later, I had a mental picture of myself as a bird tethered to a rock.  Everytime I tried to fly, the tether jerked me back, and I slammed down onto the rock.  The picture illustrated what I felt about my new life – completely trapped and tied down!  It was a very painful time.

A couple days after seeing that picture, the Lord revealed to my heart that He was the Rock, and He had tied me to Himself for this season.  This changed everything while changing nothing.  I still felt trapped, and I struggled with the season I was in.  I hated being held down, even by the Lord.  Gradually, I learned to press into God to discover His purposes for me.  Over many months of loneliness and questions about my purpose and my identity, I grew deeply in my relationship with God and with myself. 

On the day my husband Steve and I were ordained into church ministry at the beginning of 2013 (more than 3 years after our move), a friend prayed over me and told me the Lord was saying, “ It’s time to spread your wings and fly!!”  My wilderness season was over!  Those “tethering years” were some of the hardest I have known.  Yet I am forever grateful for that time and consider it the most precious season of my life.  In the wilderness I found unexpected treasure.  I learned what it meant to be loved and cared for without having to strive.  I discovered God as my Rock in a very deep and personal way, and in Him, I know I always have a home.

“Therefore I am now going to allure her;

I will lead her into the wilderness 

and speak tenderly to her.”

Hosea 2:14